The posters read:
Ex (14): “But you have to… I get angry.. I can’t help it.”
Friend (16): “Relax… It’s okay… Your ex doesn’t care about you anymore..”
Sister: “You should have tried harder to stop him..”
Ex #1: “You’re a filthy slut. I’ll make sure everyone knows.”
Ex #2: “Forget it. It’s just ‘bad sex’”
"It wasn’t your fault."
From 14 to 16 I was in an unhealthy relationship. My boyfriend was jealous and controlling, he told me what to wear, where I could and couldn’t go and who to be friends with. He’d be around me all the time making sure I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and when he wasn’t he’d be calling or texting me. I had no friends because he didn’t trust me or anyone else. He was at my school and was around me all the time, waiting for me outside lessons. If I was talking to or even just near someone he didn’t like he’d grab me by the arm and pull me away. He’d push me a lot when he was angry and tried to punch me when drunk but I moved. Often he would pressure me into doing things that I wasn’t comfortable with, threatening to get angry. He said that he couldn’t help it and it was my fault for not ‘pleasuring’ him. I wasn’t ready to have sex. I didn’t even have the courage to end it then he broke up with me because he said I was spending too much time at work.
A month later I tried to make more friends and went out with some of my ex boyfriends’ friends and other people from school. I stayed out late and couldn’t get home so one of the people I was with offered to let me stay over his. He said he’d sleep on the sofa. He was too drunk to understand that I was saying no, or maybe he just didn’t want to listen. It lasted four hours. My ex boyfriend called me a slut among other horrible things, getting his friends to send me awful messages. Him and his best friend told everyone what I did. People made fun of me, my close friends made fun of me. It was a year before out of the people I told what really happened, someone actually took it seriously. I reported it a year after it happened but it was dropped because of lack of evidence. If I realized what it really was earlier, that it wasn’t my fault and its not normal, perhaps I could have done something. No one told me what an emotionally abusive relationship was, I doubt they thought that a 14 year old could be in one, and no one told me that it doesn’t have to be a stranger in a dark alley to be rape. But, no one talks about that stuff.
Photographed in London, England on December 2nd, 2012.
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